Monday, June 23, 2008

Back by popular demand. Sort of. My sister's Stacey and Ilana encouraged me to continue with this blog, in some cases daily. Jen's sister Natalie, (Frances), asked me at breakfast the other day when there would be more entries. She said she checks daily. I haven't even been doing that. Yikes. Jen had the most accurate prediction in that she stated that most peoples blogs don't last a month. Mine lasted 2 posts and then went on a month long hiatus. No one complains when a show like Lost or Battlestar Galactica does the same thing, though the latter probably have a greater fan base, hard as that may to be believe.

So what has occurred in the last month? Most of it amounts to abject writing laziness. I'd claim writers block; but anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows I almost always have something to say, much to their chagrin.

When last I posted I had finished rambling about an awesome interview for a first grade teaching position. Well after much fretting and going out of my mind and thinking the worst I was offered a teaching position at the same school on June 4th, 2008, (ironically my first anniversary of being employed with Mary Kay). Now I'm not teaching first grade. The position is 5th grade science. I took it! I can't recount accurately how grateful I am for the opportunity. I think I called everyone on my call list. I have to say that I am particularly grateful for the reactions of my family. I could hear the happiness and pride in the voices of my father, mother and sister. I think some of it may have been relief on their part that there son and brother would not continue in this self imposed role as prodigal screw up. Seriously I could feel the outpouring of love in their voices for me over that phone. It was very moving. I just want to say how much I love the three other people that make up my immediate family.

My father, who's relationship has been tenuous, is now one of my closest confidantes. I have learned to trust his wisdom that was acquired the hard way. I use to think that he didn't have too many redeeming qualities when I was growing up, but as I listen to him now I hear many of the things that I was missing, largely because of anger. In the last few years I have grown to see him in a different light. My father is a fighter! In his profession as an attorney he is highly suited for this role. He isn't afraid to roll up his sleaves and get into an old fashioned street brawl. He has a strong sense of justice and advocacy. He also has a strong sense of family. This is a quality that I have seen more of over the last few years. The generosity that he has demonstrated towards my siblings and I has been nothing short of amazing! If my father has it, then it is his joy to share it.

My mother has been a rock over the years. I would describe her as steady. She isn't a fighter in the way my father is. Hers' is a quiet strength. I remember as a kid how we didn't always have enough money. I think of the pressure's I have felt being a single adult and not having enough money. I can't imagine being in my mothers shoes, having to raise two children and dealing with the pressures of not having enough income and wondering how to make ends meet. She did it though. This grace is a quality that I am growing to appreciate more and more as I mature. Life hasn't always been fair to her but you would never hear her lament about it. She is usually too busy working, watching golf, or playing golf. She is also too busy in the fact that on top of a quiet strength she demonstrates a quiet generosity, be it an encouraging word, baking a an amazing cake for a co-worker, or letting her son stay in her home long after he has worn out his welcome.

Sometimes I wonder how my parents came together. Their personalities couldn't be more different. This was clearly a case of opposites attracting. My father is emotional and my mother is not easily rattled. My father comes from a Jewish home where emotions are worn on the sleeves for all to see. At dinner no topic is off limits no matter how truthful or outrageous it may be. My mother is WASP. Comments and opinion weren't off limits either, as long as the person being discussed was elsewhere. Some may say that behavior was somewhat disingenuous but knowing my mother it was more to temper responses and not come from a place of raw emotion, and to maintain peace.

My sister Stacey is simply amazing! She has been more than a sister to me. She has been a best friend, a source of strength, a source of wisdom and the embodiment of kindness and generosity. Sometimes I think of how hard we fought as children and am amazed at our closeness. I am grateful that it is this way. Watching and listening to her, one sees the humor and the zest for life. You see the devotion to family and friends. It's not unusual to hear someone say, "I/we love Stacey." She to touches so many lives, whether at work as a dough specialist for Nestle', or duh specialist as I'm apt to tease her about, helping and planning my surprise 40th birthday party, or simply some random act of kindness, that with her isn't so random.

This is my immediate family. These are the people who over the course of 40+ years have helped me to understand the qualities of love, courage, determination, grace, and generosity. A man couldn't be luckier to have such gifts passed along to him from those he loves and calls family.

4 comments:

Stacey said...

Finally!!!!! A new post. Thanks for the kind words, but let me clarify...I'm a DOUGH specialist. I deal with grain based products, not a DOE Specialist. Deer are not allowed in the factory (though I do see them quite often in my town.)

Unknown said...

Wow, I skimmed through them all and didn't see my name once. Hi Jen...if you read the comments.

JB said...

Hi Toby - I read the comments. : ) I also read the entry as well... Just to comment on a previous entry - um wow - in reference to this passage "The cherry on top was when I went to my gym to get a smoothie for a late breakfast, (don't worry it's budgeted), one of the hottie personal trainers, who's never uttered a word to me in the year that I've been going there, told me I looked good. Yes my ego was sufficiently stroked." And I'm not referencing the unbudgeted expenditure.

To comment on this entry - CONGRATULATIONS (again) on the new teaching position. Although you currently have a great job with great benefits, I am looking forward to your time as a teacher while you master your skills as "Mr. Brown" and not "D. Brown". That is a D to the Brown.

le0pard13 said...

Interesting blog. Hope you post more.

BTW, I've recently tagged your blog in my blog post, http://le0pard13.blogspot.com/. If you're interested in participating, please feel free. If not, no worries. Take care.