Of Martial Arts And Pigs

So last week was a good week for testosterone.

One of the things I haven't done is been to my sword class in several months. This causes me stress on many levels, not the least of which is this sense of abandoning my teacher. Since I've gotten larger my uniform doesn't fit as well, so it is more difficult to do some of the forms. Most forms in my iaido class start from a kneeling position. On series of moves have you moving from what is called tatahiza. This position requires the practitioner to completely bend his left knee so that his butt is resting on the inside portion of his/her left foot, and the right knee bent, pointed almost straight up, with the right foot almost flat on the ground. It is extremely difficult for westerners to do. This westerner in particular has had knee surgey on his left knee. I can't bend it that far, and even in shape I'd worry about snapping the tendon that replaced my torn anterior cruciated ligament, (ACL).

The other thing is that this martial art iaido, which is about drawing and cutting with a sword is more esoteric, more cerebral. It is a more of a martial way, by which you improve yourself through the rigors of training. Could you use some of the awareness skills developed to avoid confrontation. Yes. In 21st century Earth are you likely to use a sword to defend yourself. No.

I've recently had renewed interest in an Israeli martial art called Krav Maga. I won't go into great detail, but it is a dynamic, primarily a striking art, that uses the body's natural responses to help orchestrate fast, and brutal defenses tailored on ending the fight quickly. Gotta say I group up being afraid of confrontation and fighting. This calls to me because the system is supposed to let you end things quickly. That's good for me because I don't want to be in a fight at all, I just as soon get it over with quickly, with minimal damage to myself hopefully. I took an introductory class nearby. It was the lowest level class, but let me tell you it was very dynamic. In that hour I learned the effectiveness of a palm heal strike, punching with your fist vertical, three types of elbows, and two types of knee strikes. Not bad for an hour. Still I learned that I will probably need a right knee brace of decent quality to support my right knee that got sprained a few years ago. That's the only negative. They also offer various fitness classes, and I like the idea of really using my martial training to help slim me down.

The other thing I did was drive down to Salado to a ranch that specializes in importing game animals for people to hunt. My dad was there hunting feral pigs, which I found out are a nuisance animal, not native to this country. Because of the rate they reproduce, and the damage that they cause to farms and livestock, their hunting is encouraged, sort of like "license to kill gophers" (movie reference), but this time it was pigs.

So I get there by 8:30 on a Friday night, fighting through Dallas rush hour traffic. I meet my dad and this client/friend of his Paul. Paul is a hunter. Paul and my dad are from Massachusetts. Both of them sound like they just walked out of the original Dunkin Donuts in Quincy with a coffee "regula and two krellas." You see in Massachusetts the "R" has been officially dropped from the end of any word that requires it. For me the accent is pain full to heaah (translation = hear).

So we load up in this 4x4 golf cart. I'm in the front with my rifle pointed muzzle down at the floorboard, with the guide driving, and my dad and Paul are in the back. We go tearing off. Dad and Paul tell me that these things move fast and won't sit still for long, and that I may have to shoot one in the ass. I told them that wasn't going to happen. I already set parameters for myself. I would only take a quality shot, i.e. somewhere just back of the shoulder. If it didn't happen so be it. Part of me was a little nervous. The last time I killed an animal was a chicken in the Army, the better part of 24 years ago, (where does the time go?). I remembered trying to decapitate the chicken with the edge of my boot. Didn't work so well the first time, and I empathized with the chicken suffering a little. I'm not a greeny or environmentalist, but I do believe humans have stewardship over the animals, and though we need to kill them for food, that act should be done in the fastest and simplest way to avoid any unnecessary suffering.

So after chasing down two groups of pigs, and failing to corner one that separated itself, we came in contact with a third group. I saw, what my guide described as a good sized pig, standing broadside to us at about 50 yards at night. Using iron sights, and the light attached to my rifle I lit up the pig aimed and fired, and it went down. At 50 yards it looked small, however when we drove up on it, the guide said it was about 120 pounds. Not bad. The bullet had entered just behind its left shoulder, but did not exit.

When I got up on it I really didn't feel much of anything. Maybe if I'd been 14 and not 44 it would have. The pig twitched a little, but within a couple of minutes it was dead right where it stood. I was glad it didn't run. We loaded up the pig and went back to the bunkhouse.

The best part of this wasn't shooting the pig, though I have to say the coolness by which I did it still interests me. The best part was my dad telling me what a great shot I made, that it had been the best made in the last couple of days. The pig he shot required him to shoot it twice. Paul was bow hunting. I'm told he's an accomplished hunter. He put 3 arrows with broad tips into his pig, and it ran, a testimony about how tough these animals can be. He ultimately had to shoot it TWICE to finish it off. I'm no hunter but to me if you hunt these animals with a bow, you should really make a precision shot that drops the animal. Paul's pig may have been tough, but it suffered.

Anyway my dad recounted the story again, and again. Really impressed by how cool and collected I was. I tried to shake it off as 25 years of professionally shooting guns, and beginners luck. My dad just shook that off, telling me you get plenty of guys who hunt, and at the moment of truth they start to shake and can't take the shot. For me the moral of the story is that it doesn't matter if your 14 years old or 44 years old, hearing your dad being impressed with you feels pretty darn good.

So update, (since really I finished the pig shooting portion of this post on April 4th), my dad showed my brothers Sean and Calvin pictures of the me standing near the pig I shot. They are very excited. It sounds like Dad, Sean, and Calvin will be coming to Texas next December for a couple of days, so that the four of us can do this together. Watch out pigs, the Brown Boys are coming and your days are numbered.

Krav Maga on a Wednesday, and shooting a pig on a Friday. Last time I had this much testosterone I was at basic training at Ft.Benning, Georgia the fall of 1986.

Good night.

Best,

Dave

A Big No to Saying No!

So yes still at 48.5 inches as I've been for over a month. Oh and this entry is over four days late. Gym time this week equals 20 minutes of stair stepper this past Tuesday. On Wednesday I attended a Krav Maga class. More on that later.

So any one who may read this as well as my previous posts might be saying to him or herself, "What's up with this guy, why doesn't he just stick to what he says he's going to do and do it, instead of me having to read 5 posts about why he can't lose inches around his fat ass, (waist actually)? Seriously!'

Well my astute reader the above would require something called integrity. I'm proud (sic) to say that I woefully lack this commodity. Integrity is about honesty. Really it's about being honest with yourself and who you are. Did I mention that I have a fantastic penchant for laziness as well? My procrastination is almost an art form. My lack of organization is legendary.

You see when you lack integrity and can't keep your word to yourself, the truth that you are able to tell yourself is all the negative things that are present within you. It is true I am all of the above things, but is it really who I am? No like anything else they are parts of who I am, albeit not my favorite parts. They are certainly not the dominant parts. But when you lack integrity these thoughts can consume you, until all the things that you like about yourself seem to have faded. Until the only thing you trust about yourself is your inability to keep your own word to yourself. Sadly when we do this to ourselves, we find it becomes easier to not being honest with others. Our outlook then becomes more jaded, because we start losing faith in the trustworthiness of other people, because we assume they are like us.

Think about how highly we revere people that actually do have integrity, and can be trusted that their actions and words coincide. I think that's because truth is rarer than finding a sip of water in the middle of the Sahara desert.

I want to be someone I can trust.

So earlier I listed a bunch of things that I am. Here are some things that I also am. I'm a hard worker. I care about other people. I'm very smart. I'm funny. I have a good heart. I come from a good family. I have been imbued with a fair share of creativity and talent. I'm a risk taker of sorts. Not the kind of risk like skydiving. I'm talking about the kind of risk where you take on a job that you don't know everything about, and you willingly tackle it, similarly as changes come to that job I willingly embrace them.

To me this blog is a risk. I have very few readers, mostly because I've told very few people. Ironically few know because I wanted to build up blog posts, and thus my integrity with completing it, afraid I wouldn't do anything. So far three people know. Still as I stated before the blog is really for me. If no one else reads another word I am ok with that. As long as that no one else doesn't include me. For me it is building up integrity in something each week. That I personally looked back and see that I've done something for myself. I do take satisfaction in completing my posts, and sticking with it.

The truth most of the time is not pretty, and that's o.k. to. Even though I haven't made close to my inches lost as I would have liked so far I feel writing each week helps me get to that goal, because it's a form of accountability in maintaining integrity with myself. So reader be forwarned, the inches will come off, and it will be a slow and arduous process. This process might be me losing two more inches over a six week period followed by six more weeks of nothing. As I said I'm in this for the long haul. I've found in getting older and more mature, is that I have a greater wisdom combined with a resolve that what I want won't happen overnight, but likely over years. I'll be here no matter. Oh yeah I can be very stubborn, a trait that can be a double edged sword, perhaps a double edged life giving sword. Figured I would end this post on a pithy note. Done.

Just Say No

So this post is late, very late. Usually my posts are done on Sunday nights. It is now Thursday morning. Like I said late. This is greatly due to Spring Break Fever, and a natural laxsidasical proclivity I seem to have.

So 48.5" is the number to beat. I am not moving up or down, largely because I'm not moving as much, and my food choices, though hardly terrible, are not light enough to have a positive impact on my waist shredding.

Here's my main problem, just saying "no" to my self indulgence. As I stated to my therapist I don't drink alcohol, don't smoke cigarettes, and I don't do drugs. However I feel that my inability to say "no" to myself in the face of food, and money matters is every bit as self destructive. He stated that it seems like I refuse to invoke my inner parent. Strangely years back I was informed that many of the decisions we make are manifested by the fears that we have/had as a child. Fear of not being loved, not being good enough, smart enough, not having enough money. Fear. So I would say that a fearful 9 year old version of myself continues to make decisions for me.

I definitely no where my inability to say "no" started. I was in the Army fresh out of high school. My first real grown up job. Now as a private in the Army I wasn't making a whole lot of money. Still I never regulated myself. I spent haphazardly, didn't save, didn't say "no." I remember justifying to myself that since I did without as a child, as an adult I would spend my money, (notice I didn't say save), as I saw fit. Though it may have seemed sophisticated to me at the time, it was a choice made by that sad, fearful 9 year old. A nine year old that didn't know to say "no."

I had acquired a $5000 bonus when I had joined the Army. On December 22nd, 1986, my last day of basic training, I received that bonus check, minus taxes, (didn't know my governor and president had enlisted with me). It totaled $3991. It was the MOST money this 19 year old had ever seen. I was actually good about putting it in the bank and not touching it. Over the course of two years I spent almost $2,000 dollars of it. In May of 1988 my mother was moving to Texas to start a new life, and asked if she could borrow the the remaining $2,000 to help start a business, and that it would be paid back with interest. I think it was for Mary Kay. Of course I said yes to the woman who sacrificed and raised me. It would be the last time I ever saw that money. As much as I love my mother I probably should have said "no" to her, but I couldn't because I couldn't say "no" to myself.

A few years ago a friend of mine was able to run a computer simulation for me. I had always wished I'd had the financial insight to invest that nearly $4000 in something like Apple or Microsoft in 1986. My friend was able to simulate this using all of the splits of stock and their increasing value over the years. In 2007 had I invested that money into said stock, (I think it was Apple), that $4000 would be worth over $1000,000 twenty plus years later. Now it's a hypothetical game, and who knows what would have happened between January 1987, and December 2007. Still it's sobering because much of my fear revolves around not having enough money. Imagine sitting on top of that financial nest egg now, especially with Apple stock continuing to rise. By the way, if the previous paragraph sound like I'm condemning my mother for wasting my money, it's not. I also think of how many nice places I could send her to golf. My mother finds true happiness and satisfaction on the golf course. Money spent to keep her on one would be far better spent.

Yet I didn't say "no" to myself enough. That 19 year old had to say "no" more often. As in "no" to spending his Army paycheck, and "yes" to saving more of it. Saying "no" to eating more, (ironically to combat the fear of not having enough money), and "yes" to working out more. Saying "no" to attending a college I couldn't afford, and saying "yes" to myself based on a solid plan that I'd formulated for myself that was financially sound. Here was that plan. Leave the Army, enlist in the National Guard, and enroll in a state school. I would have received my GI Bill benefits, and the National Guard would have paid for my full tuition at a state school. The only thing I would have changed is making Texas my state of residence, and going to school here. Either way I wouldn't have accumulated nearly $60,000 in near crushing debt. I have to say that thanks to my dad, as of 2005 that debt doesn't exist. Still had I said "no" to attending an expensive private university, and said "yes" to my own plan I would have maintained my own adult autonomy, and relied on myself to pay for my education.

I'm not recalling the past in order to mentally beat myself up. There is nothing I can do about the past, save for one thing, learn from it, as someone who purports to like history should do.

For many years I've pursued martial arts, though not really sticking with any, (another story but related to this one). For the longest time I thought that I wanted to learn how to fight, and magically stay free of any pain and fear. The latter two are fantasy, and it's only in the last several years that I grew to understand it, maybe earlier than that, having taken some boxing classes in the 90's, and quickly realizing how slow I was in so many ways. Still the pursuit of martial arts was that pursuit of quiet discipline. I think I'm understanding a little of what that discipline is now. The discipline to say "no" to myself and the happiness and satisfaction that come with it.

Saying "no" to myself is a discipline. With my past experience at not being able to do this consistently, my confidence has ever really grown strong. There have been times where I felt super confident about myself, the period of April 1996 to June of 1998 comes to mind. I was eating right, exercising right, and feeling pretty good. Right until I tore my left anterior cruciated ligament in my left knee. I was on paid medical leave from the Sheriffs department I worked for, and would never go back to. That summer of 1998 I started saying "yes" to eating poorly, when I should have been saying "no."

There is a satisfaction in saying "no" more often than not, with the occasional yes sprinkled in for good measure. I think my friend Melissa demonstrated this, this past week. She wanted a coffee maker called the MoccasMaster. This is the most awesome coffee machine according to her and many a coffee nerd. It is $300. Melissa is great at saving money, but has a difficult time spending money on herself. I do not share this affliction with her. Melissa has the money to purchase this without putting a major dent in her savings account. We hung out on Monday and she bought it. Believe me it was like pulling teeth. The first place only had a display model. So we went to a second place. I think she was hoping secretly that they wouldn't have it, so that she wouldn't have to indulge herself. Well they did, and she bought it. I'm here to tell ya that she is one satisfied coffee nerd. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she said "no" enough to herself, that this one simple yet extravagant indulgence holds a proportionately greater degree of satisfaction for her.

My sister Stacey is the same way. I think she has an easier time spending money on herself than Melissa. However she will be satisfied with her purchase, and not need to indulge excessively. Case in point, my sister has the same car that she purchased in 1999. It still runs. Admittedly she isn't a car person. However by saying "no" to buying a new car she has freed up money to put into savings, and purchase the occasional indulgence such as hanging out with friends of hers, or most recently ordering an iPad. If you read some of my sisters more "pleasant" Facebook postings, (haha Stace, I know you'll read the blog eventually), it's about enjoying a lot of the simpler things in life that don't require spending money all the time, or over indulging, just indulging a higher quality of life.

Perhaps to enjoy the simplicity of a happier life not rooted in over indulgence, my therapist, and I agree, I have to start saying "no" to some easy things that I KNOW I will do. To build a foundation, "brick by brick" of saying "no" and following through. I think for me this is partly what this blog is about. Though it is late this week I have been consistently since January 1st writing at least once a week, and this is something for me to be proud of. And I feel happier for having done it.

Until next Sunday.

Fear Of The Push

So this week after not so great a commitment to the gym or eating right, my waist is the exact same as it was two weeks ago, 48.5 inches. Yes the "push." I won't complain considering my best gym day was Monday when I lifted in the morning and swam my butt off in the evening. I don't even know what my best eating day was, it may have been Monday. I did start lifting heavier this week, so that's the positive affirmation for my efforts this week.

I don't have a lot of time to post tonight, but I'm going to continue to talk about something that impacts everyone, fear. I'm going to re read what I say here tonight and continue on with it next week, and perhaps for many weeks after.

This weeks fear manifested itself in an e-mail I received from my assistant principal, needing to talk with me in the afternoon, after school. I saw that the principal had been cc'd on said e-mail. I was full of dread, because I know they were going to talk to me about something regarding my job performance. You see, I'm a really good teacher, but I'm not that great of a secretary/clerical specialist. Needless to say they see this as a lack of organization. Unfortunately for this career admin skills are considered critical. A teacher isn't really rated for their teaching ability, but more for their organizational ability. I'll talk more about this in another post. This is not an educational rant. So the short of it is I expected this to be a talk listing my organizational deficiencies, and because of such I'll be fired. You see if I'm fired then I'll be going back to where I was, jobless and broke, only this time in a terrible economy. I would not recover, and life would suck forever! You see with that mindset confidence in myself is completely negated. more about that later.

So anyway I kept eyeing the clock with dread, until 2:50. I thought I would pre-empt my principal by going to the assistant principals office immediately after school, because I knew my principal would be doing afternoon dismissal. Divide and conquer. Anyway my assistant principal was not prepared for my tactic and proceeded with the meeting. She wanted to know how I felt about self containing next year. For those of you unfamiliar it simply means that instead of teaching just science, I'll be teaching ALL of my homeroom students ALL of their subjects. That's right mom and Jen, I'll be teaching math! So I'm on board with this, and have been since the beginning of the year when I was telling my 5th grade department head that the direction elementary 5th grade in our district was to self contain. I could see this in the same way you look down a railroad track and see a distant light of a train getting closer and closer. Well this self containment train hasn't pulled into the station yet, but it's about to.

Well my AP who is an organizational guru, (I'm convinced somewhere in her office are MY educational records, long before she even knew me), is concerned that though I have made strong headway in my organizational skills, said skills may not be strong enough for the requirements ahead. I think she was trying to scare me off, but to my credit I know I can do this. Well the meeting ends with her letting me know that the principal would also like to talk with me. Yikes. In my mind this meeting was meant to soften the blow from when the principal would drop the axe on my head.

I left, but had to come back to the office to sign out for an appointment. In doing so I heard my AP and the principal talking. All I heard was her saying "he's confident about the self containing, but I don't share his confidence," then some garble, and then "discovery science." I left to go to the bathroom, and came back to the office. I saw my principal and thought, let's get this over with. So I asked if he needed to speak with me, and he said yes, but it would wait until tomorrow, because he wanted to talk with me about possibilities for next year. Yeah the possibility that I would be looking for new work next year. I proceeded to head to my therapists appointment. On the way I spoke with three friends, all women. Alison because she's a teacher, Jen because she has supervised people before, and has had to make staff changes, and my friend Melissa, who works in the school, and seems to know EVERYTHING going on there.

My therapist, Alison, Jen and Melissa said I didn't need to fear being fired, (yeah right). Each stated that based on their own reasoning. I have a pretty good intuitive mind, and I'm able to piece things together, it's from reading a lot of detective novels. I remembered hearing science discovery mentioned. This is a class that is taught to all of the grades in the same way music, p.e., and art are taught. It is to enrich students science experience. The great thing is that the class is largely fun and hands on. There isn't any real grading, no high stakes testing, no parents to deal with, and you get paid the same as a teacher. Hmmmm.

I put this theory past Jen and Melissa. Jen thought it might be valid, and maybe I'm destined to teach science. Melissa teaches across from science discovery, and true what I said earlier about her having her ear to the ground, stated that the teacher presently there may not be enjoying it as much as we think, and that she is pretty stressed out. I thought to myself that maybe since this teacher taught 4th grade self contained for a long time, then perhaps my principal wanted to plug her into my 5th grade spot, so as to utilize her experience, and plug me into the science discovery.

Well the next day I see the Principal. He's very complimentary about the progress I'e made, and he's very happy that I'm so enthusiastic about self containing, and the confidence I can do it. The possibility he wanted to, and did discuss with me for next year, me and the science discovery teacher switching spots next year. Melissa and I "nailed it." Though it isn't even close to a done deal yet, I said yes, my principal never saw me smile inwardly just once.

So what does the above story have to do with the theme of fear throughout my life. The short answer is that it has never been as big as I thought it was. More on that later.

On a positive note, I became an uncle this week. My step sister Alecia, and her husband Jeff welcomed their son, Harvey Rogue Fryman to the world at 12:58 p.m. CST on February 29th 2012. He is an awesome baby boy. He is very alert and looks at everything. There is a great pic of him being held by my mother, now known as Nana Judy. They are looking directly at each other, the look on his face is processing who this "one" is. The look on my moms face is priceless. I'll share the origin of Rogue's name later, as explained to me by his dad. It's pretty cool.

Best regards,

Dave

Fear, Loathing, and Recommitting to "The Process"

Ok, so I didn't tape myself yesterday. I chose not to because I was afraid of having pushed, or worse, gaining more width that I'd already lost. My week was less than exemplary. The gym was not significant enough to warrant a loss. I need cardio, and I know intuitively that it didn't occur.

However I do know that there was a fair amount of crap eating, starting with Tuesday which is known in Mardi Gras parlance as Fat Tuesday. Not hard to figure out why considering the number of muffaleta sandwiches I ate generously. Or the intimate relationship I developed with a bag of Doritos in our grade level workroom.

You see I know where I am on this journey right now. I've lost interest in the process, because its not going according to my schedule, and I haven't been doing the things necessary this week to make this happen, like cardio. And the thing is I know I need the exercise, because after a day of teaching 5th graders the best thing for me to do is go to that gym and hit it. I come out feeling better and more energized. So to get back to the point I've got to regain interest in the process NOW!

So I commit to getting up and dusting myself off and start again, learning from the past, but not wallowing in it, and moving forward. Tomorrow morning the gym, lot's of weights, tomorrow night is cardio. And I eat the food I prepared myself, not anything else. I control what goes in. I make the choices that benefit me, and not harm me. And I simply move forward. New day tomorrow, but the process continues.

Okay enough platitudes.

I think that's it for now. Until next week, when we'll find out the strength of said platitudes.

I'll end this on two positive notes, my sister Stacey has lost over 30 lbs since she had the lap band surgery done last month. You go Stace, awesome job!

The other positive note is that my step sister Alecia Fryman and her husband Jeff are expecting the arrival of their baby boy, no later than the end of this week. When I post again next week Alecia and Jeff will be parents to a healthy baby boy, and their new journey as a family will begin. My mom and step father will be grandparents. I'm excited for my mom to become nana Judy. Stacey will be an aunt, and I'll be uncle Dave. Yeah that makes me smile!

Best regards.

Attack Of The Giant Reese's Peanut Butter Heart

So in my last post I mentioned how eating several hundred calories worth of potato chips could have been a leading factor in my "push" last week. Considering the events of this past week, I would say at best that theory is a weak maybe. You see this week I lost another 1/4 inch around my waist. I am now at 48.5 inches in circumference. Not bad and it is forward progression, and also nothing is orbiting me.

So this week we had our obligatory Valentines Day party at school. I really don't like this "holiday" on so many levels, and no it's not because I'm single. No it's just another artificially induced way to help us part with hard earned cash in ways that we wouldn't do the rest of the year, save for Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and any other "holiday" by which there is a sale attached to it, oh wait that's all of them. And G-d forbid if you're a guy in a relationship, and attempt the above logic on the female of the species whom you are seeing. You're screwed and not in a good way. Anyway Valentines is like the others mentioned, who's real saving grace makes me appreciate Thanksgiving so much more. Btw way did you know that Valentines is a derivative of a Roman (the guys that killed St. Valentine btw), holiday called Lupercallia. One of the traditions of said holiday was that attractive Roman women, scantilly clothed, would run up streets trying to avoid being whipped by some freak show dressed as a wolf. Not kidding, however if we did that, then Thanksgiving might become my second favorite holiday. Alright anti holiday rant off.

Valentines at the elementary level is kind of like Halloween, except no cool costumes, but a definite elevated drama level if you don't get that special Valentine from that special someone. I know we're talking 5th grade here. I had one boy make this giant Valentine for one of our girls he liked. She cleaned up because he gave her a box of candy and a teddy bear. He got a thank you and a Spongebob Squarepants Valentine from her. True story and a slight disparity if you ask me, however our young man will hopefully learn not to gift girls this way, unless the feelings are mutual. So this is one of the whammies of this "holiday."

Alright I know some of you didn't want to sift through all of that just for this. We have the kids bring in food. All of it is CRAP! Chips, dip, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, and sugary "fruit" drinks. And people wonder why there is a rise in childhood diabetes, or there is an obesity epidemic with children. The reason is because we as adults don't put a restraint on this. I tried in that I made some of the "chip" choices be Sun Chips, and pretzels. What I would like to see for next year is that we collect a dollar from each student. Half would be spent on our Christmas Party, and half on Valentines. The food choices would be fruit plates, pretzels, baked potato chips, perhaps cheese, and real orange juice, with maybe ONE mini holiday cupcake for each child. I just think this is a whole lot more responsible, than assigning each child to bring an item of questionable health value.

So how does this tie in to my loss of a 1/4 inch. Well as a teacher sometimes students give you awesome gifts. One of mine gave me a giant Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Heart. It was 720 calories of pure peanut buttery chocolate goodness. Another student gave me a Ghiradelli chocolate bar with crushed almond, that had a hint of sea salt. Absolutely delicious! Oh and my girl scout cookies came in, and I ate quite a few peanut butter Do Si Dos, my favorites. So after eating this great wall of junk I still lost 1/4 inch around my waist. Now I did eat healthy for most of my other meals, and I did much more dedicated cardio, the majority of it being swimming. I only lifted once, and that was on Friday night, after having left school at 7:30. Perhaps St. Valentine bestowed to me a Valentines miracle in the loss of that 1/4 inch, for having showed extraordinary dedication by going to the gym on Friday night. Huh jokes on him, as I really didn't have anything better to do, but thanks, cuz I'll take a loss however I can get it.

St. Valentine ROCKS!

Best regards.

A Big Push No Where?

So the positive. My workouts were good, though I only had two "twofers" ( a morning and evening workout ). Weight training was good. I learned that I can burn through a complete all body workout doing three complete 12 weight training exercise circuits, and two core/ab 5 exercise circuits in 45 minutes. We are talking minimal rest, almost going straight from one exercise to another, almost like super setting. Put another way I did 600 repetitions of exercise in 45 minutes. Mind you that factors in exercises like forearm curls, tricep extentions, and bicep curls, since each arm will do an equal amount of repetitions as the other. My heart rate was up.

I also made it a point to try to eat no carbs that consisted of white flour, or even wheat for that matter. Largely successful, save for some potato chips that I ate over the course of this past week.

Now the not so positive, I "pushed" this week in my waist measurements. Meaning I'm still at 48.75" inches as I was last week. Didn't gain any back but didn't lose any either. This is disheartening because I thought by going without bread products combined with exercise I would have lost between .66" to .75", and thus catching up or completely maintaining my average of .5" lost per week. As February stands I am now .75 inches behind this goal, having lost only .25 inches since the 4th.

Still in this endeavor it is important to look at this push positively. I didn't gain anything back, and I can maintain forward progress. As I tell my students when they are learning to shoot, stay focussed on the process of shooting and not the outcome. If you expect to hit a bullseye, but you aren't working the process, you'll be disappointed with the outcome. Likewise if you're tearing up the bullseye, but lose focus for one of your shots and miss the bullseye, there is but one thing to do, learn from your error, move on, (because you can't call, a mulligan recall the bullet back into the gun, and re shoot), and shoot to the best of your ability for the follow up shots, by working the process. Doing the latter, the outcome will likely solve itself.

So really I can only learn and work the process. Did those 500 calories of potato chips, (over 6 days) derail my efforts? Was there an overall reduction in calories because I wasn't eating any grain based products, and was my body just adjusting to this "change?" Was I not getting enough sleep this past week? Was my weight workout too fast? Did I not do enough non circuit training cardio? Is my body simply taking a break after shedding 2.25" from around my waist over the last six weeks? Honestly I don't know the answers to most of these questions. Obviously some things I can factor in and adjust for.

In the end I can only work my process and do mostly everything right, control what I can control, (can't really control if my body decides it needs a bit of a break from losing inches), and keep "pushing" forward, knowing with confidence that at some point I will achieve my goals of total inches lost around the waist, and better physical and emotional health. To do that I have to stay present in the moment, and "work the process" and let the outcome solve itself.

Best regards.

The Mediocre Bowl

Okay first things first. My workouts this week were good, but not stupendous. I did like Fridays, because I burned through my weight training circuit fast, about 45 minutes. Heart rate was definately UP. I am going to do the same thing again tomorrow.

So I lost a 1/4 inch around my waist, for a total of 2.25 inches lost since the beginning of January. I'm now at 48.75 inches around my waist. I'm happy that I did this despite my less than stellar eating schedule. This week was slightly "pizza heavy" i.e. too many white flour carbs. My stated goal is to lose 2 inches every 4 weeks, so an average of a 1/2 inch per week. Over the next three weeks I'll have to lose more than 1/2 an inch a week to maintain that goal.

So this week I don't plan to eat any wheat/flour based carbs, so no bread, pasta etc. My "diet" will be lean meats, low fat dairy, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. I'll be interested to see what happens next Saturday morning. By the way one other thing I'd like to mention. Since I've started this I have NOT counted any calories. I'm really relying on my ability to make largely good food choices, though it seems I'm still losing inches around my waist despite eating "clean" foods perhaps a little over 60% on average, versus my stated goal of 90%. This week I will aim for that 90%. I'm very interested in the results of next Saturdays "taping", after 5 days of being all in on my eating and exercise program.

So rant time. Just finished watching the Superbowl. The New England Patriots with a regular season 13-3 record, vs. the New York Giants with a regular season record of 9-7. The latter was the wildcard team. So many of you have heard me rant about this before but it absolutely pisses me off that a wild card team can squeak into the playoffs with single digit wins and play well enough to win 3 playoff games on the road and the Superbowl. I am not convinced we are seeing the BEST teams play. That is my point. I would have preferred that the Patriots had won, but if they were going to lose at least lose to a team such as the San Francisco 49'ers that had a 13-3 season. To me in my non nuanced understanding of the game we are looking at numbers. Numbers tell us who won the game, (team with the most points). So to me in football the regular season has to count. In the present system a team could possibly have a losing record, (say 7-9), and still win their division and possibly make it into a wildcard slot, win three more away games, and then take the Supebowl, say against a team that had a 12+ win season. I am not convinced as a fan, that the BEST teams, the ones with what I would say have at least a 10-6 season, are fairly being represented. So I would like to propose a few rule changes.

1.) Any team eligible for the playoffs must have a minimum of a 10-6 regular season wins, thus this becomes the minimum number to be the wildcard. If your team has less than this number, well your season is over, thank you for playing, we'll see you next year.

Some have said to me that the above isn't "fair" because some teams have harder schedules than others. Someone told me that the Patriots wins this season, came from teams that were below .500 in wins for their season. To this I say SO. It's not like the Patriots asked to play against these teams. They had the same opportunity to have better records, but blew it. Man up and play football, and get your wins.

2.) It should take a monumental effort for the wildcard team to go all the way and win the Superbowl. More than just playing 3 playoff games on the road. The difficulty for a 10-6 wildcard team should be palpable. Preference for advance should be given to the teams that have had a better record in the regular season "Any given Sunday" in the regular season is okay, but in the playoffs it is too random. So here are a couple of rules that wildcard teams advancing through the playoffs should have to abide by:

a.) On ALL 4th down plays they must go for the down, or a touch down. They are not allowed to punt. This rule gets really dicey for said wildcard team if they blow a 4th down, and are DEEP in their own territory. This rule remains in affect throughout the playoffs, but not the Superbowl.

b.) If they make it to the Superbowl then the above rule is replaced with the following rule, the wildcard team can ONLY score through touchdowns, and punting for the extra point. They are not allowed to kick field goals for 3 points at all.

c.) These rules are only for wildcard teams with a 10-6 regular season record, but become null en void if two teams are equally matched in regular season wins, say within a 1 game difference in wins during the regular season.

To me these crippling rules will almost guarantee that a wild card team will be knocked out early on, leaving the teams with solid double digit wins in the regular season to move on, thus assuring fans that they are seeing the best teams in the league compete, and one of them becoming the BEST by winning the Superbowl.

However if a wildcard team overcomes the playoff games on the road with the 4th down rule, and overcomes their Superbowl opponent, despite not being able to kick field goals, and scoring solely through touch downs, and extra point kicks, then too me that is a true David vs Goliath story, and despite all of those obstacles, that perhaps this wildcard team is the BEST in the league. As a fan I it would be easier to root for an underdog wild card team in the Superbowl. I think these rules changes would preserve the integrity of the game, make the regular season mean more, an almost guarantee to the fans that the trully best teams are being represented in the playoffs and the Superbowl.

I suppose if I was relying on pro football as a source of income, thus the more teams in the playoffs, the better, then I probably don't like these ideas. NFL are you listening?

Rant off, until next week.

You're In The Army Now!

So here it is Sunday 1/29/12. This is really the record. The month of January 2012 has as many posts, as were made in 2009. Another milestone has been reached. Speaking of milestones I was successful with my goal of two inches every four weeks. On Saturday morning, (yesterday) I was down another 1/2 inch, which brought my total number of inches around my waist lost at well two inches. My waist is now 49 inches in circumference, (that's me on the left, tell me if you notice a difference). Or put another way, the height of the little person around my waist id now only 4 feet, 1 inch. I think a goal is to have the circumference of my waist to equal half of my height. Since I'm 5 feet, 7.5 inches tall, (67.5 inches), I would like my waist to be 33 inches. A worthy goal, considering that when I left Army basic training back in December of 1986 I weighed 170lbs, (down from 193lbs) had a 34 inch waist and I was 19 years old.

One has to be careful with that comparison. Even though the Army taught some good habits that I've stuck with haphazardly, It's not the end all be all of fitness. We ate A LOT of food, I'd say the better part of 3000 to 4000 calories daily, if not more. And we ran, almost daily. The other things we did were mostly calisthenics, and basic conditioning exercises, like PUSH UPS jumping jacks, (the Army calls the latter side straddle hops), squat thrusts, sit ups, leg lifts. We also did a lot of walking with lots of gear. We did a road march at night from one bivouac sight to another, wearing full gear, at a speed pace. We covered 12 miles in less than 3 hours. As a short guy in the rear I did not appreciate the tall guys in the front stepping it out beyond the authorized 30 inch steps we're all supposed to be taking. Yeah right!

So what I'm saying is that in during basic we did LOTS of cardio. There was not a muscle building component. We did not have access to a weight room, and even if we did we wouldn't have had enough calories to build muscle. With all of the cardio and conditioning we were doing, just to add muscle we would have needed to double our caloric intake at the very least. Believe it or not muscle bound guys are not what the Army is looking for at least not basic. Any body builders who had come to basic because of the restricted calories, and the emphasis on cardio and body weight conditioning they would have lost muscle as well as any fat.

You see in my MOS, (military occupational specialty), which was infantry, they wanted us lean and tone, and not "weighed down" by too much bulk, be it fat or muscle. Though I hate to make the comparison, but physically they wanted us to be more like Mel Gibsons character from Lethal Weapon, as in toned and defined with little fat. If you've seen Lethal Weapon, or even Lethal Weapon 2 you might understand some of the scenes I'm referencing.

In some ways what I started out to do with this post is to debunk the idea that perhaps for me a 33 inch waist is unattainable. My point to this is that now at 44 years old I know far more about nutrition then I did at 19. My diet now consists of mostly limited amounts of whole wheat carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. Had I known just to do that in basic, (limiting my bread/white flour carbohydrate intake), then perhaps I would have left basic training weighing 160lbs, with a 32 inch waist. And maybe I would have been spared one of drill sergeant Hinson's last remarks, after successfully completing my last physical training test, by which he stated, "damn Brown, after all this and you still have a bit of a gut!" Interesting what sticks with you, even 25 years later. He and drill sergeant Gibbs either left the Army awhile back, or if they've stuck it out, then they've got well over 30+years in, and are probably about to retire as command sergeant majors. Just reflecting a little.

Until next week.

My "Cheating" Heart And Mouth

So actually I think this post represents my record number of posts in a row on this blog, the grand total of four continuous posts. I think that was my total in 2009 or 2010. I'll fact check that later.

Well this week, where to start. Oh yes I was "successful." I completed 3 days where I went to the gym twice, and 5 days where I went to the gym daily. I lifted three times this week. Thank G-d! My other "success" was when I taped the circumference of my waist. I lost another 1/4th of an inch, to bring my three week total to 1.5 inches lost. I should be happy, as my stated goal was to lose 2 inches around my waist every 4 weeks. I am maintaining that. However as I reflect on the amount of working out I did versus the poor food choices I made, that number could have been more. If I was lucky I ate well about 60% of the time last week. A far cry from the stated goal of 90% of the time.

I'm happy to have still lost, but the effort to do so was clearly sabotaged because I didn't stop cheating last Saturday night. It carried over into Sunday, (twice), Monday, and probably Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Here's a sampling of my diet for those days.

Saturday: The biggest sandwich they have at Jimmy Johns with a Coke, and a bag of chips. Now to my credit I ate this sandwich over the course of 5 hours while at my part time job. Later on that night I stop at this barbecue place called Bone Daddy's and had the pulled pork sliders (4), with fries, and 2 very large Sprites.

Sunday: I ate breakfast with my friend Melissa, and her husband Shane. I ate a HUGE apple pancake, a specialty of the Original Pancake House chain.

Monday: Tried out a place called Big Racks or Large Racks. They serve racks of ribs, and I believe it's a play on words in that the female waitstaff is supposed also be sporting "big

racks." Not so much. I guess "Big Bedonkadonk", or "Sweet Buns" wouldn't have had the same ring. Anyway while there I destroyed the half rack of 8 ribs, with onion rings, and rosemary mashed potatoes, and two large cups of root beer.

The rest of the week involved eating foods at school I shouldn't be eating, such as a sleeve of Girl Scout Doe Si Doe peanut butter cookies, 10 cookies at 75 calories each. Or indulging in the various soups, stews, and rolls the PTA had prepared for us for lunch on Friday.

And through all that combined with a record workout regimen I still lost 1/4th of an inch from my waist. I am grateful but I need to remind myself that I was not "all in" this past week. At least as far as the food goes. Workout wise I am quite happy with myself. However I really should have limited my "cheating" to two, maybe even three of the aforementioned meals. So the point is that I know myself, and I know what I must do, however knowing and doing may not go hand and hand, but being "all in" for my personal transformation requires that they jibe with one another. I know there are going to be times when my waist will not have registered a loss, however I want to be able to reflect back on those weeks, and KNOW that I was all in with my eating, and my working out, and that despite myself I did my best. I don't want to produce another list of meals like the above, as a causation as to why I wasn't successful that week. Lesson learned? I'm inclined to say yes, however the proof will be in the pudding, when I measure myself next week.

So enough of me. My sister Stacey had lap band surgery done a couple of weeks ago. I am proud to say that she has lost 22 pounds so far, since I spoke to her about it this past week. I'm very proud of her. Keep good thoughts going out to her as she continues on her journey. Good job Stace. I can't wait to see less of you in May.

So my mother recently bought a car. A dark blue Dodge Charger with a Hemi V8. Like a 65 year old, soon to be retired woman needs that! She took me for a ride. It's like a planes cockpit for her. She can just see over the dash. The ride was pretty cool, just up and back along I35 in Lewisville Texas. She is NOT afraid to hit the gas pedal. Still she's a pretty good driver, unlike my dad who is downright terrifying behind the wheel! I think given some time it's only a matter of time before she is racing Camaros, Challengers, and Mustangs, as well as some of the higher speed European and Japanese cars. Just stay out of her way, you've been warned.

I think that's it for tonight. I'm hearing the siren song of prepping for tomorrow, and going to sleep.

Best regards.

The "Endo" Be All Of Lapband

Three in a row. I think this is truly a first for my blog. Woo hoo! So as usual, (you know, all three times usual), I'll start off with my success with my body by Jabba the Hutt challenge. This week through a dedicated effort of weights, swimming, stairmaster, and eating mostly right I shaved another half inch off my waist. I went from 50.25 inches last week, to 49.75 inches this week. So in two weeks I shrunk my waist by 1.25 inches. Very nice!

Let me address some things. First I was not completely successful in reaching my goals this week. Food wise I probably ate 70% healthy. Now yes I was successful, but in some ways the ends can't justify the means. It's a path to complacency and then set back. Maybe next week I only eat 60% healthy and I lose a 1/4 of an inch, then maybe the following week I back off on the gym, but eat at that 60% ratio, and don't add inches, but don't lose any either. Then I get discouraged, or some stressor is blamed for me staying away from the gym and eating properly, and the advances that I've made vanish. No bueno, because in my head I've been defeated again. And that's followed by the negative talk, the lack of trust in myself to complete something, and the lack of confidence in myself for not having completed something and trusting myself to do it.

The latter is not "all in." All in is a committment to what I set out to do, eat right 90% of the time, and workout rigorously in methods previously described, to reshape my body, tune my metabolism, and overall trust myself to do those things, because I CAN do them. In the end, and the beginning, the motivation has been extrinsic, something I wanted outside of me as a factor of weight loss, and body re shaping. Nearly all of it having to do with how people, and women especially, see me. Well the problem with extrinsic motivation is that eventually it ends. After I reach my goal waist size, some where in the low 30 inches, and I maintain that as planned, well eventually everyone that matters to me will have seen me, and just come to expect "thin and healthy Dave." What then? Oh yeah that's right the desire to be thin and healthy has to begin and and end with me INTRINSICALLY. Enthusiasm for the process will not carry the day here. I've been down that road many times before. It is a commitment to the process, as a lifestyle choice, that will seal the deal.

One of the things that I pride myself with is not giving up, and with the successes and failures that I've had with this over the last 40+ years the idea of giving up gets tempting. My sister Stacey has had similar successes and setbacks with her weight over the years. As I've mentioned before we are endomorphic people, of Ukrainian peasant stock, on my dads side of the family. That means we have larger than average bodies that stored energy (fat) for all the back breaking labor of pulling wheat out of the ground by hand, and for the women, the need to produce several little Ukrainian farmers as well. We have worker bodies, that were programmed to accumulate fat quickly, maybe in defense of those times when the harvest wasn't so bountiful, and eating daily was not guaranteed. This is an endomorph. Out of shape we look very round and puffy. The upside is we gain muscle very easily, again possibly programmed from all of the physical work this type is predisposed to. My dad gains muscle easily. His arms and calves are big, and he's 64. He started working out regularly about 10 years ago, and eating very little sugar in his diet. Well the pounds came off and his muscles became well defined. He tells me he never uses a dumbbell heavier than 25 lbs. Go figure.

Some food for thought Russel Crowe is considered and endomorph, as is Beyonce'. We've seen what happens to Russel when he doesn't workout and eat right, he puffs right up in the movie "State of Play." When he works out well it's more like Gladiator. Recently the "gladiator" returned when Crowe dropped 60+lbs with a regimen he started last June. Endo women are curvy like Beyonce'. She probably just dances too much to actually gain weight. Kate Winslett is another curvy and attractive endo female. This type are not your sprinters, we're not built like that. We require diets, low in fats, sugar, and probably salt, with A LOT of body movement to keep in shape. Similarly we will never have the waif like look of appearing in desperate need of a sandwich or three.

I think the latter is what Stacey and I spoke about this past week, and that is an acceptance of who we are, what we have as far as bodies go, and what we need to do to maintain a healthy lifestyle for ourselves. Over a week ago this acceptance has caused her to undergo lap band surgery. I think this is wonderful. Anything that is healthy and can't harm you in achieving physical health is good to go by me. I don't know what she started out at, however I plan to post her progress weekly, starting next week. She's gonna be pissed when I tell her about my blog, and she starts to read again. ; ) Hopefully she'll realize that I love her, and am extremely proud of her in this step she's taking.

Until next week.

Swimming in Jello

So I'll get right to it. I taped myself on Saturday January 7th, 2012. Good news, I was down 3/4's of an inch from last week. I went from a 51" waist to a 50.25" waist. So here's roughly what I did to accomplish that.

1.) I chose to eat mostly clean, no refined sugars, sodas, you know crap. I should say not much crap. There were some cookies left over from our Christmas party. It's actually an abundance of garbage sitting in our 5th grade work room, that we are "saving" for next months Valentines party. And I did eat a double whataburger with cheese, fries, and a rather large coke yesterday afternoon. I also stopped by Tilted Kilt in Lewisville last night, quickly becoming one of my favorite places. I had some grilled wings, potato skins washed down with a ridiculous number of Arnold Palmers, (lemonade and sweet tea mixed). The latter of which would contribute to my not being able to sleep well. Still it was kind of worth it, food was good, waitresses are really good looking, and the Saints won. Oh almost forgot about dessert, a partially baked chocolate chip cookie, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate sauce. I usually don't order dessert in a place like that, especially if I'm at the bar, or close to it, but I had to give pause because this is the Kilts signature dessert. So with assurance from my waitress that I wouldn't have to turn in my man card, supported by the fact the three guys at the far end of the table ordered dessert I went for it.

So yes Saturday was a "cheat" day for me.

2.) I made it to the gym "six" times last week. I say six because to of the days were twofers, meaning I went once in the morning and once at night. The routine for both those days was swimming in the a.m., and weights at night, with the second twofer reversing that schedule. The other day was more swimming, and the another day was the stairmaster.

I have a routine for lifting that works the entire body. It's a circuit from the ABS Diet by Mens Health that I do three times. The first circuit for nearly all of the exercises is a lighter weight done at higher reps, right now 12. The exceptions are Squats using one dumbell, and calf raises using no weight. The 2nd and 3rd sets are done with heavier weights at 10 reps. Also on Mondays and Fridays I'll do the abs portion of the workout by sprinkling the abs exercises between exercises in the warm-up circuit. And last but not least there is about 30 seconds of rest between individual exercise. The heart rate is elevated.

I am also doing swimming. I do nine full laps, (up and back) about a 1/4 mile, of breast stroke in the Olympic sized pool. I kind of do two lap sets where the first lap is sort of a warm-up, then the second lap I'm going all out, as much I can significantly raising my heart rate. The swimming is essentially an interval workout which my research indicates is really good for burning fat. I enjoy the swimming for a few reasons:

a.) easy on my joints, my knees and ankles never being anything to write home about

b.) it feels like it works my whole body, especially the upper body

c.) I sort of envision the water steadily wearing away the fat, and naturally sculpting my body, though I'm not sure I really like the word sculpting, seems somewhat cliche

d.) when I step out of the pool I feel like Daniel Craig walking onto the beach, out of the surf from Casino Royale. I know I don't look anything like him presently, but the thought of reaching that level of fitness is motivating.

e.) I feel like I have accomplished something significant when I'm done

So my whole plan is to reduce the size of my waist while keeping my muscles toned. You can't realistically add muscle AND lose fat at the same time. It really is one or the other. You couldn't eat enough calories to build muscle and lose fat, at least my body type which is likely endo/meso, which means I can gain weight easily if I don't watch what I eat and do lot's of cardio, on the flip side I can probably add muscle a little easier than most. I'll go into somatotypes later.

So overall not bad for this past week. My goal for this week is to get in a 3rd twofer, as well as a third weightlifting day. It would be nice to keep that 3/4" lost from around my waist each week as a standard. I'd love to have my suit re tailored smaller in time for the 5th grade "graduation" on June 1st.

So next week I'll post, talking about my successes and set backs, as well as mentioning my sister Stacey a great deal, as she to started a similar journey as me. That's about it for now.

Thanks for reading.

The Fit Strikes Back

Hi,

So after a two plus year hiatus, I'm back. In my last post around Thanksgiving of 2009 I spoke of buyers remorse over trading in my Honda Fit for a Honda CR-V. I'm happy to say that my cool little car is back as of last May and I couldn't be happier. This time I'm riding in style because the Fit is sporting NAVI, not that I use it.

So I really want to make a serious go of this blog. I think one of the things that the troubled me was that the blog, what little of it, lacked focus. I'm changing that.

The focus of my blog will be primarily about my body re-shaping challenge. The long and the short of it is that my self image has really limited what I think of myself and what I can accomplish. The reality is that when I'm fit the world and myself are filled with more opportunity, and when I'm not I find myself retreating from the world. Case in point my attendance at iai, (my sword class) over the past year is abyssmal. It has largely, (good word) to do with the increase in my girth, the fact that I can't fit into my uniform, my refusal to purchase another, and the difficulty in keeping said uniform on while practicing said techniques. I want to spend this year changing a bunch of those things.

My goal is to really live what I call the "Men's Health Magazine" lifestyle. Real simple, eating right and training right, in order to have a more fulfilling life. I want to be "ALL IN" and not half assing it, as I've been doing for the better part of 25 years. So here goes.

As of today January 1st 2012 I have a 51" waist. Put another way my waist is 4 feet, 3 inches around, the size of a little person. Seriously I woke up one day, looked in the mirror, and said "you have grandad Browns belly!" My grandfather died in his early 70's, (We don't know for sure how old he was), from a heart attack, complicated by diabetes, the latter exacerbated by the aforementioned huge belly. I would prefer to live longer with a greater quality of life, and not shut in.

I don't particularly care about getting on a scale. The numbers are entirely too random, however inches off my waist are inches off, no matter how you slice it, and it is likely almost all fat, and a tiny bit of water.

My goal is for a loss of 2 inches per month. It's going to require a serious focus of gym time, (lot's of cardio, mostly swimming), lots of weight training, (to maintain, and maybe build muscle, while increasing my metabolism), and eating cleanly 90% of the time. Look for weekly updates. I think I'm done for the day.

Best always.