Welcome back.

So it's been a week and change since I posted. Many important things have happened since then. Let me break it down for ya.

I've been going crazy with the buyers remorse on my new car. I really like my CR-V, but it is missing a little character that the Fit had. Like I mentioned earlier the Fit was a cool little car! I think I know why I am missing it so much. It is kind of unique. You don't see a ton of them on the road. My CR-V however, let's just say that any time I turn a corner onto a new street there is an excellent chance I am sharing it with two or more CR-V's. I asked my salesman why this is and he says that due to its price and reliability and quality it outsells its nearest competition, (Toyota RAV4), by a 2-1 margin. I'm going to keep it and slowly add some unique features to it, like a spoiler and fog lights, (most CR-V's don't have these), and I'm going to enjoy it. Should Honda come out with say an as yet to be made Fit Sport Si model with a 1.6 liter iVTEC engine with 140hp and getting 30+ mpg I will own one!

However for now there are far more important things to be thinking about. Like my teeth and say a house.

This is the hard part of posting. There are things I want to say but I'm not sure how much to reveal. Largely because I hate criticism, real or imagined. I don't mind people asking me why about certain things that I do, but it absolutely must be framed in the form of a question, expressing interest in me as a person. I've decided I don't have the time or the inclination to respond to a response like "that's dumb why are you doing that?" How demotivating and crushing to the spirit! If you really are in disagreement with me perhaps you should listen first and then ask if I would appreciate some advice. If I say "no" we move on. If I say 'yes", then this is your opportunity to craft a sensitive, thoughtful, and caring response, free of bluntness and rudeness, unless of course I have expressly requested those things. BTW the more you are in agreement with me, bordering on sycophantic, the better this conversation will go for both of us.

Now really how many of us enjoyed reading that last paragraph? I sort of enjoyed writing it because I thought of some of you reading it and thinking what an arrogant jerk. Now if it struck a nerve, i.e. I hit upon a truth about you that you don't care to admit about yourself, you may want to ask why. You see I've come to notice that people can only hurt us with the truths we keep protected behind the walls we build to protect us from the pain. I think I would like to both take down those walls brick by brick and ease that pain. It requires more openness and honest expression then I am capable of at this moment.

So here is my bit of truth for the night. I have noticed that when I am healthier and more disciplined, I can more fully live into the possibility of being the human being that I am meant to be. I have carried around with me at least 50 pounds of excess weight. This has been the case nearly my entire adult life. This weight is a wall that keeps me separated from people that I love and from loving myself. The more separated I become the more angry, detached, and lonely I become. It is a vicious cycle that feeds into itself, constantly trying to fill a void that is unfillable! So to my weight I say "I surrender, you've won the war. Now it's time to rebuild."