Let me address some things. First I was not completely successful in reaching my goals this week. Food wise I probably ate 70% healthy. Now yes I was successful, but in some ways the ends can't justify the means. It's a path to complacency and then set back. Maybe next week I only eat 60% healthy and I lose a 1/4 of an inch, then maybe the following week I back off on the gym, but eat at that 60% ratio, and don't add inches, but don't lose any either. Then I get discouraged, or some stressor is blamed for me staying away from the gym and eating properly, and the advances that I've made vanish. No bueno, because in my head I've been defeated again. And that's followed by the negative talk, the lack of trust in myself to complete something, and the lack of confidence in myself for not having completed something and trusting myself to do it.
The latter is not "all in." All in is a committment to what I set out to do, eat right 90% of the time, and workout rigorously in methods previously described, to reshape my body, tune my metabolism, and overall trust myself to do those things, because I CAN do them. In the end, and the beginning, the motivation has been extrinsic, something I wanted outside of me as a factor of weight loss, and body re shaping. Nearly all of it having to do with how people, and women especially, see me. Well the problem with extrinsic motivation is that eventually it ends. After I reach my goal waist size, some where in the low 30 inches, and I maintain that as planned, well eventually everyone that matters to me will have seen me, and just come to expect "thin and healthy Dave." What then? Oh yeah that's right the desire to be thin and healthy has to begin and and end with me INTRINSICALLY. Enthusiasm for the process will not carry the day here. I've been down that road many times before. It is a commitment to the process, as a lifestyle choice, that will seal the deal.
One of the things that I pride myself with is not giving up, and with the successes and failures that I've had with this over the last 40+ years the idea of giving up gets tempting. My sister Stacey has had similar successes and setbacks with her weight over the years. As I've mentioned before we are endomorphic people, of Ukrainian peasant stock, on my dads side of the family. That means we have larger than average bodies that stored energy (fat) for all the back breaking labor of pulling wheat out of the ground by hand, and for the women, the need to produce several little Ukrainian farmers as well. We have worker bodies, that were programmed to accumulate fat quickly, maybe in defense of those times when the harvest wasn't so bountiful, and eating daily was not guaranteed. This is an endomorph. Out of shape we look very round and puffy. The upside is we gain muscle very easily, again possibly programmed from all of the physical work this type is predisposed to. My dad gains muscle easily. His arms and calves are big, and he's 64. He started working out regularly about 10 years ago, and eating very little sugar in his diet. Well the pounds came off and his muscles became well defined. He tells me he never uses a dumbbell heavier than 25 lbs. Go figure.
Some food for thought Russel Crowe is considered and endomorph, as is Beyonce'. We've seen what happens to Russel when he doesn't workout and eat right, he puffs right up in the movie "State of Play." When he works out well it's more like Gladiator. Recently the "gladiator" returned when Crowe dropped 60+lbs with a regimen he started last June. Endo women are curvy like Beyonce'. She probably just dances too much to actually gain weight. Kate Winslett is another curvy and attractive endo female. This type are not your sprinters, we're not built like that. We require diets, low in fats, sugar, and probably salt, with A LOT of body movement to keep in shape. Similarly we will never have the waif like look of appearing in desperate need of a sandwich or three.
I think the latter is what Stacey and I spoke about this past week, and that is an acceptance of who we are, what we have as far as bodies go, and what we need to do to maintain a healthy lifestyle for ourselves. Over a week ago this acceptance has caused her to undergo lap band surgery. I think this is wonderful. Anything that is healthy and can't harm you in achieving physical health is good to go by me. I don't know what she started out at, however I plan to post her progress weekly, starting next week. She's gonna be pissed when I tell her about my blog, and she starts to read again. ; ) Hopefully she'll realize that I love her, and am extremely proud of her in this step she's taking.
Until next week.
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