The Fit Strikes Back

Hi,

So after a two plus year hiatus, I'm back. In my last post around Thanksgiving of 2009 I spoke of buyers remorse over trading in my Honda Fit for a Honda CR-V. I'm happy to say that my cool little car is back as of last May and I couldn't be happier. This time I'm riding in style because the Fit is sporting NAVI, not that I use it.

So I really want to make a serious go of this blog. I think one of the things that the troubled me was that the blog, what little of it, lacked focus. I'm changing that.

The focus of my blog will be primarily about my body re-shaping challenge. The long and the short of it is that my self image has really limited what I think of myself and what I can accomplish. The reality is that when I'm fit the world and myself are filled with more opportunity, and when I'm not I find myself retreating from the world. Case in point my attendance at iai, (my sword class) over the past year is abyssmal. It has largely, (good word) to do with the increase in my girth, the fact that I can't fit into my uniform, my refusal to purchase another, and the difficulty in keeping said uniform on while practicing said techniques. I want to spend this year changing a bunch of those things.

My goal is to really live what I call the "Men's Health Magazine" lifestyle. Real simple, eating right and training right, in order to have a more fulfilling life. I want to be "ALL IN" and not half assing it, as I've been doing for the better part of 25 years. So here goes.

As of today January 1st 2012 I have a 51" waist. Put another way my waist is 4 feet, 3 inches around, the size of a little person. Seriously I woke up one day, looked in the mirror, and said "you have grandad Browns belly!" My grandfather died in his early 70's, (We don't know for sure how old he was), from a heart attack, complicated by diabetes, the latter exacerbated by the aforementioned huge belly. I would prefer to live longer with a greater quality of life, and not shut in.

I don't particularly care about getting on a scale. The numbers are entirely too random, however inches off my waist are inches off, no matter how you slice it, and it is likely almost all fat, and a tiny bit of water.

My goal is for a loss of 2 inches per month. It's going to require a serious focus of gym time, (lot's of cardio, mostly swimming), lots of weight training, (to maintain, and maybe build muscle, while increasing my metabolism), and eating cleanly 90% of the time. Look for weekly updates. I think I'm done for the day.

Best always.

Welcome back.

So it's been a week and change since I posted. Many important things have happened since then. Let me break it down for ya.

I've been going crazy with the buyers remorse on my new car. I really like my CR-V, but it is missing a little character that the Fit had. Like I mentioned earlier the Fit was a cool little car! I think I know why I am missing it so much. It is kind of unique. You don't see a ton of them on the road. My CR-V however, let's just say that any time I turn a corner onto a new street there is an excellent chance I am sharing it with two or more CR-V's. I asked my salesman why this is and he says that due to its price and reliability and quality it outsells its nearest competition, (Toyota RAV4), by a 2-1 margin. I'm going to keep it and slowly add some unique features to it, like a spoiler and fog lights, (most CR-V's don't have these), and I'm going to enjoy it. Should Honda come out with say an as yet to be made Fit Sport Si model with a 1.6 liter iVTEC engine with 140hp and getting 30+ mpg I will own one!

However for now there are far more important things to be thinking about. Like my teeth and say a house.

This is the hard part of posting. There are things I want to say but I'm not sure how much to reveal. Largely because I hate criticism, real or imagined. I don't mind people asking me why about certain things that I do, but it absolutely must be framed in the form of a question, expressing interest in me as a person. I've decided I don't have the time or the inclination to respond to a response like "that's dumb why are you doing that?" How demotivating and crushing to the spirit! If you really are in disagreement with me perhaps you should listen first and then ask if I would appreciate some advice. If I say "no" we move on. If I say 'yes", then this is your opportunity to craft a sensitive, thoughtful, and caring response, free of bluntness and rudeness, unless of course I have expressly requested those things. BTW the more you are in agreement with me, bordering on sycophantic, the better this conversation will go for both of us.

Now really how many of us enjoyed reading that last paragraph? I sort of enjoyed writing it because I thought of some of you reading it and thinking what an arrogant jerk. Now if it struck a nerve, i.e. I hit upon a truth about you that you don't care to admit about yourself, you may want to ask why. You see I've come to notice that people can only hurt us with the truths we keep protected behind the walls we build to protect us from the pain. I think I would like to both take down those walls brick by brick and ease that pain. It requires more openness and honest expression then I am capable of at this moment.

So here is my bit of truth for the night. I have noticed that when I am healthier and more disciplined, I can more fully live into the possibility of being the human being that I am meant to be. I have carried around with me at least 50 pounds of excess weight. This has been the case nearly my entire adult life. This weight is a wall that keeps me separated from people that I love and from loving myself. The more separated I become the more angry, detached, and lonely I become. It is a vicious cycle that feeds into itself, constantly trying to fill a void that is unfillable! So to my weight I say "I surrender, you've won the war. Now it's time to rebuild."

Okay so I'm probably phoning this one in. I haven't written anything since the 4th, which is way longer than my allowable one a week entry.

A few things have occurred in the last week that I do need to mention. One area of rapid disgust is this whole concept of "peace loving Muslims." In light of the TERRORIST/Traitorous incident at Fort Hood I can no longer abide by the politically correct fairy tale that such a creature exists. I'll pick up on this a little later this week, but I will leave you with something to chew on. They are treating this guy with kid gloves, like they are surprised at what he did even though many things have come to light that say our "Major" was a radical islamist. Like for instance contacting an imam in yemen, the latter whom is openly hostile towards America and was at least indirectly associated with the attacks on 9/11. He was the imam to several of the hijackers who found inspiration in his messages of intolerance and genocide towards all infidels. So this "Major" is in contact with this guy, a man openly hostile to the United States, via e-mail and the Department of Defense and the FBI just right it off as "research."

I wonder if these same investigators were the same ones writing off Tim McVeighs association with "right wing militias" back in the mid '90's, just before the Oklahoma City bombing. Let's put it another way. If our traitorous radical islamic terrorist in Army clothing was around during World War Two and was a person of German, Italian, or Japanese descent in contact with members of those hostile powers who advocated "death to Americans," how long do you think it would have taken to have him in front of a firing squad?

To those of you reading this and don't think we are at war, I say wake up!

You'll have to forgive me. Instead of blogging I was on Youtube taking in some 80's Sci Fi nostalgia. I was watching exerpts of "V The Final Battle." This wasn't done solely to waste time on more important things that I could be doing, (name anything and it counts). No I was watching in preparation for Friday evening when I go over to my friend Toby's house to watch the newest installment of the Stargate franchise, "Stargate Universe." I was watching the pilot episode to get caught up. Whew! I will also be watching the newest re-imagining, ( I love that, you know years ago in some movie studio they came up with that phrase, "boss it's not a remake, we're re-imaginig), of "V." As a mutual friend of ours would say "we're getting our geek on." True but I don't apologize. Always liked the sci-fi stuff, especially if there are a lot of great what if questions. It helps if the aliens asking those are HOT human looking female aliens, yes a little xenophobic! I love time travel themes, the whole paradox thing fascinates me. I also like stories about things that we know get turned on their head, such as waking up one morning and finding that your democratically elected republic, has been taken over by Nazi lizards, (in human clothing). I don't give Hollywood credit for teaching us much that is useful, however the alien invasion thing they seem to have down pat. Historically it has never ended well for a technologically inferior race to be visited upon by a technologically superior race. Don't believe me, case in point, native Americans = 0 ( except for a few casinos, there's a proud legacy) Europeans et al = ALL OF IT. So if we get visited upon I think it will either go down like "Independence Day" where the aliens are coming to forcibly take from us, no pretense, or it might be like "V" where they come in peace, and then slowly put the screwing to us. The net result is at least the attempted subjugation of Homo Sapiens. Of course the dead give-away for the we com in peace crew, they will all be beautiful, not an ugly one amongst them. I've been in the military (Army), even in the Air Force there's ugly people. There might be a third option somewhat similar to the European experience here. These visitors might come with actual good intentions, but then they will see how easily we are bought off with shiny trinkets and promises of free stuff. Let the subjugation begin! Something tells me that the friendly Reeses Pieces loving E.T.'s will likely have ben conquered before us. That's comforting. I mean really we've got guns, what was E.T. going to do "cute'm to death." Hmmm.

Okay I've been sarcastic enough for one night. So I walk into this house and there's a red head, a ninja, a Transformer, and a clown. The redhead is my friend Alison, the ninja is one of her students, a 3rd grader whom she looks out for because his mom is an exotic dancing p.o.s. that can't seem to be bothered. Sorry there is more back story but I can't write it here. The transformer is my oldest nephew Alexander. He is 5 and has started kindergarten. Gotta mention his kindergarten teacher is cute! He has always been a little ornery, I love that word. Alison and her family are originally form Montana, so they are aloud to use western style words like that. Tonight he was kind of quiet. It wasn't the Alexander that Uncle Dave usually experiences. Now his little brother Jordan,(20 months'ish) was another story. Jordan has two speeds Fast and stop. This guy is all over the place. He's a climber by the way, and he has NO fear. So we're out and about trick-or-treating. Alison's husband Scott is relieved that I'm going. He owns a haunted house attraction called Terrorplex so on Halloween he has to be there. I kind of look after Alison and the boys on our neighborhood trek. So Nick, (Alison's 3rd grader) and Alexander are alternating ringing door bells. Jordan is being pushed in his clown costume. You want to talk about cuting people to death. That's Jordan. He would hold his bag out and say "please" since "trick-or treat" was a little beyond him. People ate it up. Now they also have a little dog, a Westy named Nemo. Well no matter where Jordan heard or saw a dog, along our trail of rotted teeth, that dog became Nemo. He can also say my name, which of course I love. So after awhile we get back to the house loaded with candy. It was time for my Halloween treat. Knowing the amount of candy I decided to get each boy a Hot Wheels motor cycle. I always like these. G-d knows I buried a lot of them on Nantasket beach when I was 5. They were a hit with the boys. For five minutes. This is the way of children. Alexander wants to play Wii. I wanted to play but Alexander didn't want me to, 5 year olds seem to just tell you what is on their mind. Well using my wisdom, which entailed letting him hand me my butt at several games of Wii baseball, we were able to play, and the loud and funny Alexander started to come out. It was great to see. Those two boys make me laugh every time I see them. It is always a joy. Alison and Scott are great parents, I've no doubt those boys will grow up to be fine men. Working as a teacher you see a lot of indifference and neglect. This is the case with Nick. He absolutely didn't want to go home. He wanted to stay with Alison and the boys. She told me it was heartbreaking to take him home. I see it a lot and it colors my views of children and those that would be parents. I have this completely fascist idea by which children are force sterilized at puberty, and that the earliest this is reversed is by age 25, at which time you must present yourself to a liscensing board and be subject to random spot checks over the course of a year. You must prove that you are gainfully employed, not addicted to any substances, and have all the issues of your damaged childhood fully resolved before bringing some unsuspecting life into the world. There are consequences, perhaps reduced welfare, smarter t.v. (if that's possible), and oh yeah did I mention that it is pretty fascist, though not a "master race" per se, just a less effed up one. And here I was railing against Nazi lizards a little while back.

So for all the talk about my cool little car the Honda Fit in my previous post, I traded it in. This like many things is bittersweet. I bought an '09 Honda CR-V that was discounted, well because they were discounting them to make room for 2010's. I went the day before Halloween. I wanted to test drive a Red '08 VW R32. It is a Golf GTI that has a 6 cylinder, all leather and loaded! I also test drove an '08 Mini that was a manual and turbocharged! Both vehicles were ridiculously FAST! It was a thrill driving the stick, but with both of them coolness was the rule of the day versus practicality. They did a lot of what the Fit was doing, just faster and more expensive. Hauling stuff the Fit beat each one hands down. We then test drove a 4 door Civic SI. This car was fun and fast. I knew that I wouldn't buy it but I kind of knew at this point that I was determined to buy something. Chris, my salesman who sold me the Fit was amazing. This wasn't the first time since riding in my friend Jeremy's Mini, that I'd talked with Chris about a new car. Each time he talked me out of it. So we head over to the used lot and I see a Black '07 CR-V with 35,000 miles on it, and in great condition. Now when I went to buy a car last January I originally looked at CR-V's. So now I gravitated towards this used one. Chris had me look at a new '09 with 38 miles on it and ran the numbers. As far as financing it was a difference of $2000 over the life of the loan. Did I mention the new one was discounted $1,800 dollars? I went new and got a silver one with black interior and had these cool black wheels added, (a little bling). I like the CR-V a lot and it will be my primary vehicle for a long time. It looks sharp, and will look better when I get the windows tinted. It definitely speaks to a stylish utilitarian practicality that will last for years. On the down side I am missing the Fit, a little. part of it has to do with it's nimble zippiness, the other is I just tacked on an additional $8000 worth of debt that I didn't have Friday morning. Though I think that I have a better vehicle for my purposes I've now come to realize that I need to think strategically about money, because I don't. I live in a world that because I don't have any credit card debt and I can afford to live a little comfortably, I think I am doing "fine." It occurs to me that I really need to tackle my financial situation responsibly buy spending less, and saving more. Having an additional income stream of say another $1000+/month take home would help immeasurably towards, fixing my long neglected teeth, saving for that retirement, and buying my future home. Still there are many doing all of that and making less, so don't feel sorry for me. I am open to suggestions. I promise my next post will be full of wit and humor, oh your still waiting for those things. Well I did just buy a new car, so take that!

On my next installment, hear about how I walk into a house and there is a clown, a Transformer, a ninja, and a redhead. We are on a mission from G-d!

Good G-d! I started this nearly a year and a half ago. My last post was on June 23, 2008. I was talking about my new teaching position ad nauseum. A lot has occurred since then. Let's re cap some highlights:

I have been teaching 5th grade science and language arts at Owen Elementary in The Colony, Texas since August of 2008. As many of you know teaching may be a strong word for what I was doing this past year. I can say that it was extremely challenging, primarily in my organizational skills. This is an area by which I don't have any worries of being named as a guru. I can say with confidence that as a second year teacher I know more, (take thumb and forefinger bring them together, but leave a space about 1/16th of an inch between them, that's how much more I feel I know). It was also a rough year for my first batch of students. Between my rookie teaching skills and high aspirations for their learning and behavior skills is it any wonder some of them thought I was the meanest teacher they've ever had. One of those who felt this was a girl in my class that worked hard to get strait A's the whole year, played soccer, and was just a really dynamic personality. For all that I made her my student of the year, or some other silliness like that. She was presented this award at our 5th grade graduation last June. I think she feels a little badly because I have seen her and her mother twice since the school year started. Her mother talks to me, but my former student won't look at me or address me. Maybe she just want to stare evil in the face. Who knows! All I know is that for a teacher who is labeled mean by more than a few students, he can't get rid of these students past or present, because they continue to flock around him. They may be too young to understand, but aren't they rewarding behavior they perceive as bad

We, meaning the United States of America elected, a new President, Barack Obama, junior senator from Illinois. I didn't vote for him, glad that's public, hopefully it won't impact which re-education camp I'm sent to. We'll talk more about him later.

In December I went on a cruise with my Dad, my sisters Stacey and Ilana, and my brothers Calvin and Sean. We went to Mexico, Costa Rica, and Panama. I gotta say the shore excursion to the Mayan ruins (2012 noooooooooooo!) was cool, as was seeing a giant container ship moving eastbound through the Panama Canal. It was probably loaded with junk and trinkets to be distributed to Walmart. I think the best one was the white water rafting in Costa Rica. It only lasted about 25 minutes, after taking the better part of 1.5 hours by bus to the staging area, then another half hour to stage. You get the idea. Travelling that long I figured the river started on the Pacific side and we were going to ride it out, all the way back to our ship. Oh and in case you were concerned there were plenty of opportunities to help relieve us of the weight of all those dollars we carried around. And like any other family trip good times and hurt feelings were had by all. I'd also like to point out that my brothers made a valiant attempt to recreate some of the third world squalor of Central America in their cabin.

I bought a new car. My 2002 Nissan Pathfinder shed it's mortal coil on New Years Day 2009. I love my new car. It's a 2009 Honda Fit Sport. I think it's a cool little car. Not amazingly fast, kind of hard with a 1.5 leader iVTEC 4 cylinder engine, but it is nimble, and splits the difference between a little sporty and practical. The car suffered a little damage when on the evening of June 20th 2009 it partially hit a Lazy Boy recliner on a poorly lit section of I35. The chair was in the middle of the right lane. I didn't see it until I was almost on top of the thing. The car go fixed, courtesy of insurance and a $500 deductible. It looks good as new. Some of my students think it could use a little testosterone. I don't agree with that, but I do agree with a recent review by which the writer thinks that Honda just reverse engineered and shrunk their Odyssey mini van, and added a more aggressive look. My friend Jen has taken to calling the car "Buster." I am not a fan of the name as it originates from a character of the same name from a show "Arrested Developement." If you've seen the show you might understand why I don't like the name. I guess it could be worse. Some of my friends call it "the fageo," though I did laugh at that one. I take care of "him" pretty well. Just had the windows tinted on Friday. My cool little car looks a little cooler. BTW I feel a little guilty about having written more about my car and a vacation cruise, than the historical election of the first African American to the office of the President.

I tested for Shodan in my Iaido (Japanese Sword) Class. This occurred in March. I am particularly proud of this achievement. Now I am considered a real student of this art. There are expectations that I will attend more often due to this lofty status. One of my rewards for reaching this rank is the introduction to a stance called Tate Hiza (pronounced tahtay heeza). It is a painful samurai sitting position, presumably while they wore armor. It is my understanding that no matter how long you train for this "sitting" position will always be at least a little uncomfortable. Domo Arigato!

I have moved to a nice apartment in The Colony. It is less than 10 minutes door to door going to school, and that is hitting some lights along the way. Did I mention that I don't have room mates. The last place I lived was very reminiscent of the aforementioned third world squalor. Except for my room. My friend Toby is the only friend who actually saw the inside of where I use to live. No other friends or family in the 2+ years I lived there. I don't necessarily see either as a distinction but it's worth noting. Again did I mention no roomates.

Okay so here goes. Please check back regularly. I know this is asking a lot considering my previous hiatus was measured in weeks. I will make an effort to post a little something daily. Topics will include school, hobbies, friends, family and any other of the vagaries of my life that might cause you to grin inwardly.

Dave

Back by popular demand. Sort of. My sister's Stacey and Ilana encouraged me to continue with this blog, in some cases daily. Jen's sister Natalie, (Frances), asked me at breakfast the other day when there would be more entries. She said she checks daily. I haven't even been doing that. Yikes. Jen had the most accurate prediction in that she stated that most peoples blogs don't last a month. Mine lasted 2 posts and then went on a month long hiatus. No one complains when a show like Lost or Battlestar Galactica does the same thing, though the latter probably have a greater fan base, hard as that may to be believe.

So what has occurred in the last month? Most of it amounts to abject writing laziness. I'd claim writers block; but anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows I almost always have something to say, much to their chagrin.

When last I posted I had finished rambling about an awesome interview for a first grade teaching position. Well after much fretting and going out of my mind and thinking the worst I was offered a teaching position at the same school on June 4th, 2008, (ironically my first anniversary of being employed with Mary Kay). Now I'm not teaching first grade. The position is 5th grade science. I took it! I can't recount accurately how grateful I am for the opportunity. I think I called everyone on my call list. I have to say that I am particularly grateful for the reactions of my family. I could hear the happiness and pride in the voices of my father, mother and sister. I think some of it may have been relief on their part that there son and brother would not continue in this self imposed role as prodigal screw up. Seriously I could feel the outpouring of love in their voices for me over that phone. It was very moving. I just want to say how much I love the three other people that make up my immediate family.

My father, who's relationship has been tenuous, is now one of my closest confidantes. I have learned to trust his wisdom that was acquired the hard way. I use to think that he didn't have too many redeeming qualities when I was growing up, but as I listen to him now I hear many of the things that I was missing, largely because of anger. In the last few years I have grown to see him in a different light. My father is a fighter! In his profession as an attorney he is highly suited for this role. He isn't afraid to roll up his sleaves and get into an old fashioned street brawl. He has a strong sense of justice and advocacy. He also has a strong sense of family. This is a quality that I have seen more of over the last few years. The generosity that he has demonstrated towards my siblings and I has been nothing short of amazing! If my father has it, then it is his joy to share it.

My mother has been a rock over the years. I would describe her as steady. She isn't a fighter in the way my father is. Hers' is a quiet strength. I remember as a kid how we didn't always have enough money. I think of the pressure's I have felt being a single adult and not having enough money. I can't imagine being in my mothers shoes, having to raise two children and dealing with the pressures of not having enough income and wondering how to make ends meet. She did it though. This grace is a quality that I am growing to appreciate more and more as I mature. Life hasn't always been fair to her but you would never hear her lament about it. She is usually too busy working, watching golf, or playing golf. She is also too busy in the fact that on top of a quiet strength she demonstrates a quiet generosity, be it an encouraging word, baking a an amazing cake for a co-worker, or letting her son stay in her home long after he has worn out his welcome.

Sometimes I wonder how my parents came together. Their personalities couldn't be more different. This was clearly a case of opposites attracting. My father is emotional and my mother is not easily rattled. My father comes from a Jewish home where emotions are worn on the sleeves for all to see. At dinner no topic is off limits no matter how truthful or outrageous it may be. My mother is WASP. Comments and opinion weren't off limits either, as long as the person being discussed was elsewhere. Some may say that behavior was somewhat disingenuous but knowing my mother it was more to temper responses and not come from a place of raw emotion, and to maintain peace.

My sister Stacey is simply amazing! She has been more than a sister to me. She has been a best friend, a source of strength, a source of wisdom and the embodiment of kindness and generosity. Sometimes I think of how hard we fought as children and am amazed at our closeness. I am grateful that it is this way. Watching and listening to her, one sees the humor and the zest for life. You see the devotion to family and friends. It's not unusual to hear someone say, "I/we love Stacey." She to touches so many lives, whether at work as a dough specialist for Nestle', or duh specialist as I'm apt to tease her about, helping and planning my surprise 40th birthday party, or simply some random act of kindness, that with her isn't so random.

This is my immediate family. These are the people who over the course of 40+ years have helped me to understand the qualities of love, courage, determination, grace, and generosity. A man couldn't be luckier to have such gifts passed along to him from those he loves and calls family.